At some point in your life, you will be criticized. Criticism can feel like a gut punch. The closer the relationship you have to the person critiquing you, the more intense the gut-punch often feels. If you know how to handle criticism, however, it can be more helpful than praise.
Before we get into tips on how to handle criticism, first let’s go over the difference between criticism and feedback.
Difference Between Criticism and Feedback
Negative feedback can be confused with criticism as both deals with evaluation. However, there are are some distinct differences.
Criticism tends to be negative and involves judgment and fault-finding. Feedback, however, more often than not, is more objective. Also, feedback looks towards the future and, therefore, often comes with possible solutions. In contrast, criticism looks backward and often leaves the recipient feeling like there’s no chance to fix potential issues.
Whether you want to know how to handle constructive criticism or how to handle criticism at work, here are a few tips you can use.
13 Tips on How to Handle Criticism
1. Try to Remain Calm
Your immediate response is the most important one when it comes to how to handle criticism. When you react to critique right out the gate you may dig yourself deeper into a hole. So, try to remain calm. Let the person say what they feel they need to say. Take a couple of deep, quiet breaths to help settle you.
2. Give Yourself Time to Process
When faced with tough feedback, your stress response can go into overdrive. As a result, you may feel even worse than you should. However, when you allow yourself time to process the critique, you can respond in a calm and polished manner. In doing so, you’ll ultimately feel better about yourself regardless of what is said.
3. Silence Your Inner Know-It-All
Jack Welch, heralded by many as the greatest leader of his era once said; “Keep learning; don’t be arrogant by assuming that you know it all, that you have a monopoly on the truth; always assume that you can learn something from someone else.” Criticism can be an opportunity to learn and grow, so, silence your inner know-it-all.
4. Remember the Benefit of Getting Feedback
If the criticism is constructive, a refusal to listen could mean you’re missing out. Remember what
Ken Blanchard, the author of ‘The One Minute Manager,’ said; “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”
5. Deconstruct the Criticism
To know how to handle constructive criticism you first need to understand what the person is saying. The best way to do this is to deconstruct the criticism. This involves listening to understand not to respond. Also, ask questions to understand the critic’s argument.
6. Consider the Source
Knowing how to handle criticism can be difficult. So, before you react or respond to critique, consider the source. Some questions you can ask yourself to recognize and know how to handle constructive criticism are:-
- Do you trust and value the opinion of the person who is delivering the criticism?
- Does the critic have knowledge or experience in this particular area?
- Did you ask for feedback or is the criticism completely unsolicited?
7. Be Selective About What You Take on Board
More than likely, you will face criticism at every step you take towards success. However, just because people have something to say doesn’t mean you are obligated to listen. As the Chinese master of Zen Buddhism Huang Po said; “There are some people just like mad dogs barking at everything that moves, even barking when the wind stirs among the grass and leaves.”
8. Take the Positives Out of Criticism
Building on the above tip, learn how to handle criticism by taking out the positives. There is usually some truth in the criticism you receive. Depending on the person’s delivery though, it may be difficult to detect right off the bat. So, try to understand where the other person is coming from. Take the positives and discard the rest.
9. Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself
According to the ancient Greek sage Aristotle, there is one way to avoid criticism. Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. I think we can all agree that for anyone with a pulse, this is impossible. So, don’t be too hard on yourself when you receive a critique. Remember there’s no expectation for you to be perfect as you make your way through life.
10. Rise Above Petty Insults and Attacks
Many times we take criticism as a personal attack. However, if you can be a better person, you can learn how to handle criticism with grace. How can you be a better person? Avoid petty insults and attacks. One of the best ways to do this is to separate the person from what they are saying. Oftentimes, the urge to hit below the belt has to do with personalities and not what is said.
11. Make A Follow-Up Plan
Constructive feedback is no good unless you actually implement it. So, think about how to work feedback into your project. Once you make changes you can ask for a review to confirm you’re implementing the feedback as requested. This a great way to learn how to handle criticism at work.
12. Assume Good Intentions
We’ve been conditioned to be suspicious. Ultimately, the conditioning is important for our safety, but it has its drawbacks. For one, we may become defensive when we feel criticized. However, if we make a conscious choice to assume that someone has good intentions when thy critique us we coil learn how to handle constructive criticism better. To assume positive intent with criticism requires that we open ourselves up to a new way of thinking and feeling. Undoubtedly, this will take practice.
13. Say Thank You
Respond to criticism with a heartfelt “thank you.” It is a great way to know how to handle criticism, and could also help you get better feedback in the future.
Conclusion
Leaning into criticism takes practice. However, the payoff can be much greater than what praise brings to the table. As Abraham Lincoln said, “If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”
